@ 11.43am

It's one of those days where you wake up, and was glad that all you envisioned with your closed eyes was all but a nightmare. The kind of nightmare that sends chills down your spine, making you fear worst case scenarios. 日有所思，夜有所梦。

One of my closest friends recently told me about her relationship problems. About whether she was cruel to end a 4 year relationship because she felt for another that she believed was more ideal than the present. Of course he feels the same vice versa. No matter what her decision, I just want her to make the right one and the most sound decision of all. As her bff, I will not judge; but I can't help but think about the fragility of human to human relationships. Nevertheless, no matter which path she opts for, she'll always be my bff and my great pal I share my thoughts with till we age with white hair and dentures.

They say, some things that take years to build can be destroyed so easily. Like houses of the Haiti population. They have probably lived in their houses for a long time and made that place they call home. But a quick tremor of the earthquake sent their homes collapsing within seconds. Mother earth or relationships, they all seem to be neglected and forgotten till disaster strikes.

It was probably the conversation with her that caused some part of my brain to fear unconsciously again. I won't say I'm not bothered. But I choose to believe that I went through that ordeal for a greater outcome. And I have faith that all the effort put in will not go to waste.

Another thing bothering me - what shimin and my dad said. My dad asked me what I was going to do when I returned from Beijing. I told him about completing the RAD teachers course and obtain the practitioners liscence at my own pace. He then said if I really want to go to UK, then go, although he hopes I'll complete my journey to Beijing. It's a tough choice to make. I don't want the effort, nights, tears etc to go to waste. It's only a while more. I hope I can fulfill both goals. After all, it's been a lifelong dream to do medicine or pursue ballet. Now that I have both, I can't bear to let go of either.

Ok, time for me to hop onto the next train. Feels really good to pour out my thoughts on a Friday morning.